Hold My Heart

KRISTINA J.: Two Birthdays and a Great, Big Giveaway

2011-09-15T10:18:00.000-04:00

Check out this awesome giveaway! :)

KRISTINA J.: Two Birthdays and a Great, Big Giveaway: (ASOS Maxi skirt , Target Merona Chambray shirt , Nine West wedges , Vintage bag) This is a huge weekend for me...I'm...

He loves me

2011-07-24T20:13:00.008-04:00

The most life-changing concept I have ever known is as simple as the title of this post. But the question is who? Whose love could be this life-changing? Whose love could make me walk with a new confidence...life in my veins? What love can give joy in darkness and peace in hopeless times?

Truly it is the love of my Heavenly Father that is making this difference in my life. For so long I felt that God must not be very nice. He loved me...but He didn't really care about me or my feelings. I truly believed that He didn't care if I was happy as long as I was holy.

Who wants to love a God like that?

I didn't. Oh - I wanted to serve Him because I knew I should. I wanted to serve Him because I wanted freedom from my past and my sin and my fear. But I didn't understand that I could enjoy my relationship with Him. I did not see that walking with Him did not have to be a miserable daily choice to trust an unkind deity.

What has changed? Without sounding sacrilegious, I believe that my God has changed. I now serve a God of love and hope - His mercies are new every morning - this is the God of Scripture. Oh, it isn't that God never demands justice or punishes sin. It is not that He is very soft and will never allow bad things to happen to me. No, the truth is that He loves me. And that is enough.

Walking with Him is about allowing Him to come into my heart and so fill me with Himself that I am changed into His likeness. Once again, I used to think it was about beating myself into submission...making myself more pleasing to Him. I now am vaguely catching a glimpse that I am most pleasing to Jesus when I am yielding myself (made whole by His love) to Him. It is then that He can fill me and make my life whole and beautiful and fulfilled.

I see that it is no longer about hating myself...tamping down me and becoming someone else. It is no longer about presenting the perfect face to society and gaining their love. God loves me the same...no more and no less...even if I have just stumbled and fallen. I believe He delights when I come back to Him and admit that I cannot make it on my own.

And so, whoever may read this, may I remind you that Jesus loves you. It is not about who you are, how you look, whether you have gained a bit of weight, that last decision you made that didn't turn out quite right, whether you feel like everyone is against you. It is about Him...and you. He loves you. He longs for you to realize that if you have given Him your heart, you are His beloved child.

Will you walk with Him and let Him love you? I think He is longing to surround you with love...because, to be honest, He is love. And once you accept that fact, things will never be the same. In a good way.

"Jesus loves me this I know.
For the Bible tells me so."

Hanging in There?

2011-07-18T19:57:00.004-04:00

Ever heard someone say, "Oh, I am just hanging in there."? It seems like there is supposed to be something good about "just holding on." Like one should receive some credit for hanging on desperately, despairingly and hopelessly.

I suppose from one point of view that is true. I mean, we are supposed to reap if we faint not, right?

It took several conversations, however, for me to see that "hanging on for dear life" is not necessarily always a good thing. Why did it take me so long to realize that maybe I need to let go - let go of my dreams, let go of my fears? I am pretty sure that my plans, my wishes, my pain is not what is going to bring glory to God.

In 2 Corinthians Paul talks about the "thorn" in his flesh. This was something that he had earnestly entreated God to have removed from his life. There are many speculations about what the thorn was, but I think that is a point that doesn't need explained. What mattered is that when Paul was weak...that was when he was the strongest in God's eyes.

See, God wants us to come before Him open-handed. I think there are two reasons for this. First, we need to come to God and let go of everything - our plans, our fears, our...you get the point. We need to let go of ourselves. And then? Then, while our hands are still open, then our Heavenly Father is able to fill us - fill our lives with strength and peace. I think (or am learning to think, thanks to some wise people in my life) that when we are being honest about our weakness (and letting go) before God is when He is able to do the most with us. Allowing Him to be strong for us...that is true strength.

Know what I think? Next time I feel like I am just barely hanging on I think I need to remind myself to let go. Let go of the masks and the pretenses, let go of the fear, let go of controlling the situation, let go of what I think I need...and let myself be weak. For "when I am weak, then I am strong." (1 Cor. 12.10) And I don't think that will be so bad, for then I am reminded that "underneath are the everlasting arms." (Deut. 33:27)

Just grateful

2011-07-17T00:00:00.004-04:00

Over the past few months I have been realizing more and more that a part of trust is accepting the grace that is given to me by a benevolent Father's hand. In acceptance is found joy...and it seems to me that joy and gratitude are inseparable.

So today, even though I am struggling with fear of the unknown, I pause to count blessings - to accept with joy the "God-moments" that have been given to me. I realize now that truly "every good and perfect gift come from above - from the Father of light with whom there is no variableness." This does not mean that only the big blessings come from God as gifts of grace. No, far from it. The little things that I often forget to notice come from God as well.

What are the little things that you would like to thank God for? Here is a list of some gifts that come to mind:

~ a clean back porch - I looked out the other day and saw that some wonderful person had swept and cleaned the nastiness away.
~ friends to laugh and talk with - God has shown me how many wonderful
friends I have.
~ a side job for the weekend - earned a little spending money. :)
~ books - so much to read and so little time!
~ ruffles and flowers - I love the 'girly-ness' of clothes these days!
~ a dinner invitation tomorrow - complete with authentic Mexican food.
~ freedom and safety - watched an old movie last night about World War II. We are blessed.

I am grateful. I am daily loaded with so many blessings that I can't even remember them all. One specific thing from this last week, though. I was having one of those horrible, rotton days at work. Nearly everything that could go wrong did. However, it was that day that I happened to get a beautiful card from one of my dearest friends. Did God know that I would need the encouragement and love that day? Oh yes, I believe He did. And so Jess' card ended up in my work mailbox.

Father, for all these things and so many more...I am grateful.

Trusting Jesus - that is all!

2011-07-15T13:18:00.003-04:00

I have written on trust before. Slowly but surely I find myself learning that God is in charge. And this is a good thing. Those words used to strike fear in my heart. "God...in charge? But I don't know if His plans are good. I don't really think He even likes me." I would quote verses to myself about His plans to prosper me and to give me hope, but I couldn't get the knowledge down deep. It stayed on the very surface.

Today? I am still scared. But it is different. More just nervous, I think. I don't know how things are going to work out, but I trust the One Who is at work.

Simplistic? Perhaps it seems that way, but in reality there is a deep acceptance that must take place before one can truly trust Jesus. I think when we say we "trust Jesus" we are making a statement of surrender and commitment. We are accepting the grace He is offering and stepping forward in obedience. "I trust You" says to me that I accept Christ as Lord, that I don't have to know all the answers and that I believe that He will work in me...in my life...what is best.

I think the hardest thing may be remembering that what is best does not necessarily mean that which is easiest. And that is when fear starts knocking at the door again. That is (or should be) the time that I draw all the closer to Christ. I am learning about the perfect peace that passes all understanding...that peace is based on (and rests in) Christ alone. The peace is truly unexplainable. It is not ignoring things or burying my head in the sand. It is not found in denying reality. Neither is it superstition. It is leaning on God and letting Him draw me nearer to Him as I walk in the way He leads me.

I certainly don't know all the ins and outs about trust, and what I do know has been learned over the course of a very painful journey. I do know, though, that I long to continue on the path in which God is leading me. I have found this to be true: He is faithful and trustworthy - my life could not be in better hands.

The following quote is one of the most powerfully stated quotes on trust I have read. Enjoy!

"The way of trust is a movement into obscurity, into the undefined, into ambiguity, not into some predetermined, clearly delineated plan for the future. The next step discloses itself only out of a discernment of God acting in the desert of the present moment. The reality of naked trust is the life of the pilgrim who leaves what is nailed down, obvious, and secure, and walks into the unknown without any rational explanation to justify the decision or guarantee the future. Why? Because God has signaled the movement and offered it his presence and his promise." — Brennan Manning (Ruthless Trust: The Ragamuffin's Path to God)

Caution...Changes ahead!

2011-04-07T16:24:00.002-04:00

Life has been so busy of late! It seems like I am never entirely caught up on things. I feel like I run from one thing to the next. It really is a good thing, though. I would rather be busy than bored, I think (at least as a general rule). :) Lately it seems like I run from work to homework to school to play to church and then try to catch a little sleep somewhere in the middle. Life is good, just crazy.

*laughing* I know that some would say that working for only 20 hours a week is not much. But when you also attend school, are involved with a ministry on Sunday...well, things start piling up.

There are several changes heading my way that still take my breath away when I stop and think about them. I can't quite announce them yet, but...wow! That's all I know to say. If I could have seen a year and a half ago where my life would be now...who'd a thunk it?!

I honestly believe that this season of my life has been one of the periods of greatest growth. The questions and pain that I have experienced during this time have been great. I never realized that life held so many dark times and struggles. On the other hand, I never knew that such pain and uncertainty could bring such growth and therefore such peace and joy.

Today I experienced an answer to prayer that is very large in nature. My school bill - all $1700 that was left to pay before the end of the school year - is covered. All that is left is about $28. I think I can handle that. :) There is no word for the wonder I feel except for this one...God. He knows how to care for His children. So I leave my life in His hands. There is no better place to be. He is showing me that I really can and should trust Him. I must never determine His guidance by whether I think I can afford to follow Him. I now know that if He leads me somewhere, He will provide for me there.

Forgetting and Remembering

2011-02-12T13:47:00.004-05:00

Yesterday I heard a sermon that made me think. The speaker was talking about Mary and Joseph and how they accidentally left Jesus behind when they left Jerusalem after the Passover. It was not because of sin and it was not done on purpose. They just forgot to make sure he was with them. They forgot and later realized that Jesus had been left behind.

I have been thinking since then about how this has been a reality in my life. I get busy. I get stressed. I am tired. And so I forget to remember Him. I don't spend as much time caring for my relationship with Him. I stop spending extra time in prayer.

I don't know why I do this. I always suffer. It always brings extra worry and a spirit of lack to my spiritual walk. Why is this so easy to do?

So today I am remembering. Today I am spending some time alone...with Him. I am pondering His mercies and thanking Him for His love. In the quiet He speaks; it is necessary to leave the noise.

"Here I am, Lord. Please forgive my busy distraction. I seek to refocus my heart on You. Let me remember...and press forward. Let me see Your face."

Paragraphs

2011-01-22T23:22:00.002-05:00

Sometimes I long to write...and I don't. There is that itch and I ignore it. Don't really know why, but for some reason it seems like to much work to make the effort. Then later I bemoan the fact that I "can't write anymore." Maybe it is more honestly the fact that I just don't write anymore. Yes, that is more like it.

So I am attempting - not making any grandiose promises or anything like that - to start writing more regularly. Just writing. No special topics, no deep theology (unless there is such on my heart), no amazing photography. Just me. Writing. One paragraph at a time. Because that is what writing is, right? A collection of paragraphs. And since it's my blog? :) It doesn't have to be good or spectacular. It is just me recounting my life and practicing my writing.

As far as recounting my life goes: ouch! I haven't felt like talking about it much lately. The same good things are still here (yes, Ryan and I are still happily dating), but right now I am going through some rough stuff. And it is honestly kind of depressing to talk about right now. And I do not want it so sound like I am asking for pity. So? We aren't going there. :)

The Ending of a Good Thing

2010-12-31T16:52:00.004-05:00

"All good things must come to an end."

Whether or not this quote is actually true is debatable, but I know some good things must come to an end. The primary "thing" that I am currently considering is my Christmas vacation. I am finding myself quite sad to think of leaving home in just a few days.

I have thoroughly enjoyed my time with Mom & Dad and Kyle and Kurtis. We have watched movies, laughed, played games with friends, cooked, eaten, and been quite lazy. I got to go skiing one day, and I also worked several days at Dr. Hakes' office, which was an answer to prayer (so grateful for the extra money!).

On the not-so-happy side of things, I had the stomach flu. Ugh. Been so long since I last had it! I remember once again why I hate it so much. I also dropped my laptop and it is d.e.a.d. I have to admit that I cried over that. For one thing, I don't have money to replace it right now, and the other thing is that I lost almost everything that was on it. I had a few pictures backed up elsewhere, but other than that? It's all gone. The articles I was working on, the classwork I have done, the music I have downloaded, the pictures I have taken, my journals...gone. Just like that. We even got a computer guy to try to to recover my information from the hard-drive, and he was unable to do it. It makes me sad...

On the brighter side of things, I am so excited to get back to school and see some very special people! I am now dating a wonderful guy named Ryan, so I am really looking forward to seeing him again. :) I also have some dear friends that I will enjoy hanging out with again. I can't wait to have a regular schedule, too.

And last but not least, after this semester I will be one step closer to the ever-elusive graduation. Yes!

Going Home!

2010-12-14T13:09:00.004-05:00

After a speedy semester, I am so excited to be headed home!

There were so many unknowns when I headed into this school year. I was terrified to be going into new territory with very few friends or loved ones around to help me if I needed it. However, God has been so gracious. He has supplied my needs and given me several very special friends. I feel that this semester has been a time of incredible spiritual growth in my life. It is so amazing to see the way God has worked in me!

While I am so looking forward to going home for a few weeks, I feel a sense of anticipation for the future. For a long time, my future seemed dark and unknown. I was dreading it because I didn't know where I was headed. Now, even though it is still unknown to me, God has strengthened my faith. I now know that God is directing my future and is with me. It is so amazing to think - the Awesome Creator of the universe is directing and guiding my life. He is trustworthy.

My plans for while I am at home are not all that exciting, to be honest. I plan to work between 8-10 days of the time that I am at home. Hopefully I will be able to fit one ski trip in there somewhere as well as see some of my extended family. Either way, I can't wait to be at home sleeping in my own bed and spending time with my own very dear family! :) Of course, it doesn't hurt that I will be eating my mom's cooking, too. In reality, I am very grateful for the opportunity to earn some money while I am in Idaho. My school bill next semester is looking a bit grim. :( I am exercising my faith in this matter as well.

Pray for our safe travels! We will be traveling a couple hours before we actually fly out. Kurtis and I, along with a friend of ours, will be actually flying out early Thursday morning. Here's hoping we don't run into any bad weather!

Hopefully while I am home I will have a chance to do some blogging. Somehow blogging always falls far down the "to do" list in importance. Talk to you all later!

I'm a thief!

2010-11-16T19:46:00.002-05:00

On my last post I forgot to give photo credits...not good. Somehow I think since the photographs were taken by my brother, I may receive forgiveness.

So, the pictures in my last post were taken by my illustrious brother - Kyle Alan Hoffpauir.

Thanks, Kyle!

Dreaming

2010-11-15T18:23:00.000-05:00

I'm dreaming of home...

fire crackling in the wood stove,
strong and pungent coffee brewing in the kitchen,
fluffy blankets keeping out the winter air,
cold dog noses poking at your hand,
frozen air sparkling in the sunlight,
cinnamon rolls baking in the oven,
friendly townspeople who remember your name,
reading - just for fun - while sitting in the recliner,
cooking dinner with your family,
sparkly clean bathroom - NO FLIP FLOPS IN THE SHOWER,
a place bright enough to see to comb your hair,

and last, but certainly not least...loving family all around!

Hmmmm, I suppose it is not difficult to tell that I am homesick. I can't wait for Christmas break. And so, though it will make the longings even stronger, I will post some pictures of home sweet home.

Oh yes, I will be going home one month from tomorrow!

Heart filled with Thanksgiving

2010-11-09T20:54:00.005-05:00

"Do not be anxious for anything, but in EVERYTHING, by prayer and petitions, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.'"

I am convinced from Scripture that God wants to hear from us. He wants to hear our desires, our feelings, our needs, our worship and adoration, and our praise. I think He wants to hear from us in whatever mood we are in. However, it is important to note that in the above Scripture, Paul teaches that we should present our petitions with praise.

I have been busy presenting requests to God lately, and not focusing so much on giving thanks to Him for His goodness. I have begun to feel convicted. I know that He wants to be a part of my life both in the good times and bad, so I am going to focus on giving Him specific praise along with the specific requests that already seem so easy to present to Him

Giving thanks for:
- the (short-lived) return of warm weather
- a new winter coat which should be arriving in the mail soon
- I found a church!
- friends - old and new
- straight-up piano music (nothing else added in there!)
- a lovely weekend
- a little extra sleep
- two major projects finished (yes!!)
- starting Doctrine and Practice of Prayer class - I know that God wants to use this class to challenge me and those around me
- the love and prayers of my amazing parents
- happy memories
- modern medicine
- my wonderful family

I am so grateful for the many blessings God has given me!

November...already?

2010-11-02T23:03:00.004-04:00

It makes me laugh when I think of the great trepidation I felt as entered this new school year. Needless to say, many changes have come about, and not all of them have been painless. However, of one thing I am more sure than ever: my Heavenly Father is so good and so faithful. I am amazed at the way He has worked in my life.

Now that we are only three weeks from Thanksgiving, I keep wondering what on earth I am going to do over the Thanksgiving holiday. I have had some invitations, but many of them mean a lot of traveling. Not necessarily a bad thing, but I think I want down-time, not road-time. :( I wish that I could sneak down to Florida so that I could get warm again.

Speaking of warmth, I never realized how much I would miss Florida weather. It is cold here! Dressing each day is an experiment in layering. :) Oh well, I love being able to see the changing seasons...that is one thing that Ohio has on Florida!

Since I am honestly about to fall asleep as I write this, I think I better head off to bed so I can get up early to finish my homework. Joy, joy, joy. :) And after the homework is finished I get to go observe a class. I suppose I better be awake for that as well.

Goodnight, world (or at least my faithful two readers)!

(P.S. This is rare for me, but I haven't proofed this...please forgive any dreadful grammar, wording, etc.)

I survived!

2010-10-11T20:13:00.002-04:00

I survived my weekend. Whew! It was crazy, to be sure.

I was so grateful, though. Where we expected nearly 100 children only approximately 60 showed up. And trust me, 60 children under the age of 10 are a handful! (I don't remember if I had mentioned this before...I was assisting with the children's services for Homecoming.) I also helped out with the Education department's fundraiser and served in the banquet.

Then on Sunday I went to two church services as well as assisting in a nursing home service. Ugh! So Sunday was a bit crazy, too. :)

My verse for this weeks is going to be Psalm 34:1. I am going to need it, I can tell. "I will bless the Lord at all times. His praise shall continually be in my mouth.

Respite

2010-10-07T10:41:00.004-04:00

My Facebook status the past few days has been this: "its gonna take a lot of prayer and dark chocolate to get through the rest of this week. :) "

This weekend is Homecoming Weekend here at GBS. They are expecting 600-900 guests. The numbers keep changing, so I really have no idea how many people will be here. I have been dreading the next few days with my whole being. I couldn't imagine how life could get any busier without me losing my marbles. I kept plodding along and was living very near tears.

Once again - why didn't I realize that God knows what one can (or in my case, can't) handle?
Two of my classes have been canceled. The due date on my paper has been moved. My test has been moved. Chapel tomorrow is shortened. Yay!! I may actually be able to catch my breath before the eight+ hour day that I will be putting in tomorrow (which is 'voluntary' labor, by the way).

So, for the moment, I am enjoying sitting on my bed...blogging, having my devotions, and just spending time in the quiet with God. I know that with Him I (and everyone else who is freaking out like me) can make it.

This is the promise that God gave me this morning:
"And as your days, so shall your strength be...the eternal God is your dwelling place, and underneath are the everlasting arms." Deuteronomy 33:25, 27

A Specific Answer to Prayer

2010-10-05T19:41:00.002-04:00

I am so amazed at the way my Heavenly Father cares for me. He is so good!

I discovered today that the battery was no longer charging on my computer. It had been working fine, and then all of a sudden it just quit charging. I knew that this was an issue with some Dell computers, so I Googled my problem.

I found many people with the same issue, and the solutions sounded daunting...and expensive. Then I happened upon one solution that was easy to try and didn't cost anything. Guess what? It worked!

I had prayed very specifically before I had really looked into the problem, but I have to admit that I hadn't exercised much faith. Now I am laughing at myself for my lack of trust. God knows what I need when I need it. He supplied my need. I give Him the glory!

Learning Lessons

2010-10-04T23:01:00.002-04:00

I don't know why it always amazes me. Every time I think I have a lesson learned, I find that I really don't understand things quite as well as I thought I did.

It is kind of funny. You would think that being a teaching major, I would get it. People need repetition in order to learn. It is a rare person that can hear a fact or see an equation once and never forget it. I think that it is the same in our spiritual life. I cannot expect to hear something once and never need to be reminded of the truth again.

It is a well-known facet of education that in order for a teacher to get a point across to students there are several levels of learning that must take place. I am sure that you don't want all the deep, nitty-gritty details, but suffice it to say this: true learning needs to pass from a mere surface knowledge - a repetition of facts - to something deeper - application, creativity, and evaluation.

I believe that God is the Master Teacher. He knows how to teach us so that we each individually learn. For me, this includes illustrating His truth in my life with examples, allowing me to share His truth with others, and yes, repetition.

So, what is the lesson that God is driving home for me this semester? It is something that I have mentioned before, but I am learning it in much more detail now. Simply put, this lesson is trust.

I have written before about trusting God. We are enjoined more than once in Scripture to trust in our Heavenly Father. This is not an option for Christians. However, it seems that our trust has to grow. We begin with trusting Christ for our salvation, and as our faith grows we realize that God is trustworthy in every way. (I don't understand why it takes some of us - namely me - so long to learn this.)

Even though I thought I had learned this lesson before, God has been giving me a review. Hard times are just that...hard. However, it is during these times that God seems to draw close and speak to my heart. His Word somehow becomes more meaningful, and fellowship with other believers somehow seems sweeter. I sense a peace that is indescribable. I know my Heavenly Father is taking care of me.

The last year has been a dark one for me. Loss, death, confusion, and financial concerns have all visited me. I have found one thing to be true throughout it all. God is faithful.

And so, I want to remind you...this hard time you are facing? Maybe God is allowing you to review some lessons. Maybe He wants you to just remember what you know. He is good. He is faithful. He loves you.

Weekends

2010-09-24T17:31:00.003-04:00

Week´-end´
n. The end of the week, usually comprising the period from Friday evening to Monday morning, observed commonly as a period of respite from work or school; as, to visit one for a week-end; also, a house party during a week-end. Contrasted to work days.
http://www.thefreedictionary.com/Week-end

What is it about this word that brings hope and joy to the hearts of so many? I found these quotes that express my feelings about weekends:

Sunday clears away the rust of the whole week. ~Joseph Addison

"I've been thinking Hobbes --"
"On a weekend?"
"Well, it wasn't on purpose..." ~ Calvin & Hobbes Quotes
http://www.buzzle.com/articles/weekend-quotes.html

This week I found myself living for the weekend. So what are my incredible plans? First, I am very excited to be getting off campus! Second, I am going out to dinner tonight (don't worry, Mom. It isn't an expensive place.) Third, I am going to have time to do my laundry. I know, I know - doesn't this sound like loads of fun (pun intended), but when your dresser is getting as empty as mine is, you know there is a problem. Fourth, I might actually get ahead on my homework that has been hanging over my head for days. Yeah, I like that idea a lot. And then of course, it is Sunday. I look forward to the refreshment of spending time worshiping my Heavenly Father with other believers.

So the picture I uploaded is the place I would be if my dreams came true this weekend...in the mountains at home. Hiking, relaxing, sniffing the fragrance of woodsmoke in the air...not much sounds better than that right now. :)

All in all, I am so excited that it is Friday. What about you?

Fall?

2010-09-23T17:41:00.003-04:00

So since fall has officially arrived, I decided to take stock of the weather outdoors. Hmmmm, the temperature today was somewhere in the nineties as it will be for the next day or two. The trees are changing colors a bit, but it is hard to tell if it is because of the slight cold snap we had a few weeks ago or because it is so dry outside. All in all, it doesn't feel like fall. I am hoping that it decides to arrive soon.

I have been filling in on the piano at a little United Methodist Church in Northern Kentucky. While it has been fun getting to know another congregation, I have to admit I feel a little out of sync with them. The first Sunday I played seemed to go okay. I mean, the songs tended to run a little slow, but there were no drastic problems. Last Sunday I went back, and the pastor came to me and told me I needed to play the songs quite a lot faster. That's fine by me, but when there is no one directing the music it is hard to know how fast to go! So, this Sunday will (hopefully) be the last. Although I have to admit...the extra money is nice.

Gotta get ready for class. Night classes are the worst, I think! Hard to stay awake and enthused, that's for sure.

Return to blogland

2010-09-20T21:43:00.003-04:00

After a brief journey into the land of Wordpress, I have returned to discover that Blogger is ironing some of the wrinkles out of their site (or something).

Despite the craziness of life, I am truly enjoying my time here at GBS. God has been teaching me so much! It seems like each step I take brings me deeper into the realization of the faithfulness of God. He is so big, so powerful, so beyond what we can imagine.

And now, since I think Blogger actually works again, maybe you will be hearing from me more frequently. However, there is much to be done...

Good night!

Blog problems

2010-08-11T12:41:00.002-04:00

I am having so many problems with Blogger that I am thinking of changing. Any suggestions? Is WordPress good?

Something I am working on

2010-07-06T12:28:00.009-04:00

So I never considered myself the "do-it-yourself" crafty type, but I am feeling inspired since I need some stuff for my new dorm room this fall.

This is the inspiration for my new room: I purchased this from Walmart for $35.00 and free shipping!! It comes with the comforter, sheets, and a sham. I then found a bedskirt for approximately $14 from Kohl's.

I want to go for something more bold than I usually do because dorm rooms are just so...blah. Pastels tend to just blend into cream-colored walls. Since we aren't allowed to do any kind of painting/wall-papering other than the color that is there I decided to go with the black and white, along with some brights pinks and greens.

I also decided to make one of these: http://niner360.wordpress.com/2010/02/15/how-to-make-a-french-memo-board/ I have two fabrics that I am trying to choose between for the fabric. Here are some swatches that are similar to the fabric pieces that I found... (I am sorry the link doesn't work...none of my links that I am inserting are working for me!! Argh.)

I haven't purchased any ribbons yet, but I found old pieces of clothing at the thrift store that are big enough to make one of these boards. I can't wait until I can get it done. If it turns out, there will be pictures forth-coming.

Until then!

I Am The Flag

2010-07-04T13:33:00.000-04:00

I am so proud and thankful to be an American. This year I have almost felt convicted...the fourth day of July is so much more than a day to just party and hang out in the sun. It is a day to remember why our country is great. It is a day to give thanks to God for our freedoms. It is a day to remember those who have fallen for our freedom. It is a day to pray for our country, and to be reminded of our part that must be done to keep our nation "independent, under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all."

I hope you enjoy this video clip about the flag of the United States. Our beautiful flag stands for so much!

God bless the United States of America!

Quote from "The Simple Woman's Day Book"

2010-06-28T00:37:00.000-04:00

the simple woman's daybook: "'For Christians, the beginning of the day should not be burdened and haunted by various kinds of concerns that they face during the day. The Lord stands above the new day, for God has made it. All restlessness, all impurity, all worry and anxiety flee before him. Therefore, in the early morning hours of the day, may our many thoughts and our many idle words be silent and may the first word and the first thought belong to the one to whom our whole life belongs '
~Dietrich Bonhoeffer"

A "Sweater-y" Kind of Day

2010-06-25T19:32:00.005-04:00

Today has just been a "sweater-y" day. I know that sweater-y is not a word, but that is how today feels. It has been drizzly, cool, and overcast for most of the day. So when I got ready to go to the library I put on a pale pink, lightweight cable-knit sweater. So comfy!

Even though it is probably hot in most other parts of the country, I thought I would do a little sweater dreaming. This coming fall will be the first fall that I can enjoy autumn clothing in more than four years! So here's to "sweater-y" days!

Top left: A classy, yet cute gray sweater that can be dressed up or down.
Bottom left: In a fun color of pink, this casual sweater is best for a layered look.
Center: With interesting details, this style of sweater is a great substitute for a jacket on a chilly day.
Top right: Argyle is so much fun! This sweater looks lovely on a spring/summer day.
Bottom right: Love, love these long sweaters. Add boots and a stylish bag to your outfit, and you are autumn chic!

For all you crafters:

2010-06-25T00:16:00.002-04:00

Check out this amazing giveaway! I think this would be one of the coolest machines to win. Go to the website and see all the neat things you can do. I also like this girl's blog. So much fun! http://thriftydecorchick.blogspot.com/2010/06/silhouette-craft-cutter-giveaway.html

Sunsets

2010-06-22T00:29:00.000-04:00

The Creator of such breath-taking beauty is deeply interested in me. How can I deny Him the worship He deserves?

Gracious Gifts from the Father

2010-06-21T17:23:00.001-04:00

Buttons ~ Holy Experience: ""

11. A new job (or an old one - however you look at it)
12. Courage and determination
13. Heavenly peace
14. Remaking acquaintances
15. Cool breezes
16. Old friends
17. The laughter of a child
18. Rest
19. Writing - a creative outlet to release frustration, express joy, and make goals

Wild Daisies

2010-06-20T00:45:00.001-04:00

Because of all the spring rains this year, the fields are blossoming with wild flowers. After driving past this field of wild daisies on my way to and from my house, I knew I had to get some pictures. Though the photo shoot did not turn out the way I hoped, I did get a few fun pictures.

Spring in the mountains just cannot be surpassed!

Experimenting with Google Picasa

2010-06-20T00:24:00.002-04:00

For whatever reason, to see the entire picture you must click on the picture and it will take you to Google Picasa. You will then be able to view the actual collage. I have enjoyed working with Picasa. There may be a few glitches or perhaps it is only user error, but for being a free program it has some neat options.

This is the website where you can download Google Picasa for free:

http://picasa.google.com/#utm_campaign=en&utm_source=en-ha-na-us-bk&utm_medium=ha&utm_term=download%20picasa

Just a picture of my apple blossoms

2010-06-18T17:15:00.002-04:00

Work on Your Gratitude

2010-06-18T15:22:00.004-04:00

Lately my heart has been overwhelmed with reminders of how important it is to live in an "attitude of gratitude." From the devotionals I read by Nancy Leigh DeMoss regarding living a lifestyle of gratitude to the blog-roll I found that encourages counting your blessing publicly - I think God is giving me a gentle reminder.

And so, since I was also complaining about having nothing to write about...I decided to join in the bloggy-fun. My goal is to start a list and once a week create a blog post dedicated to gratitude. Yes, I know that it is a "Monday" thing according to "1,000 Gifts" button, but I decided to get a head-start today.

Here is the post that inspired the whole movement entitled "1000 Gifts."

http://http://www.aholyexperience.com/2006/11/gift-list-thousand-things.html

So here is the beginning of my list:

1. Blossoming crab apple trees - the flowers are so pretty and pink
2. Dogs - they love you unconditionally
3. Sunshine after many rainy days
4. Finding my prescription for a lower price ($68 vs. $223)
5. The scent of flowers
6. Watching my goofy dog - it makes me laugh
7. My Dr. prescribed some medicine that instead of making me gain weight may actually help me lose it!
8. A luscious chef's salad for lunch - I love green vegetables!
9. Grandma took us out for breakfast today - yummy food
10. Psalm 119 - been reading it section by section for my devotions - God's Word is powerful

Jesus, I thank You for all Your goodness. Open my eyes to see the wonders of Your grace. I am undeserving - I praise You for each blessing You have given me.

PS - I cannot figure out how to post the button that is supposed to go with this blog. I guess I will put it on the sidebar. If anyone can tell me how to attach it to this post, please do!

The Tale of Desperation

2010-06-17T00:33:00.001-04:00

I don't understand these people that ALWAYS have something to blog about. Maybe my life is just boring or else I am not as creative as those other people. I used to feel like I had a bit of a way with words and that maybe something I would say could encourage another person. Now I just feel like anything that I say has already been said by someone else - and said much better, at that.

This blog post isn't just to feel sorry for myself, so please don't comment in pity. I really just feel the need to get some stuff off my chest...to ponder life a bit. That's all, and writing probably is one of the best ways that I know of.

Working at Dr. Hakes' office (the eye doctor that I have been visiting since I was a child) has been such a pleasure for me. I had forgotten how deeply I enjoy that kind of work. Seeing numerous people every day and still having the time to care about each one is so enjoyable. Scheduling, taking medical history, answering phones, filing - because this is a small office I get to do more than I would in a larger place. Relationships are formed with my patients and with my co-workers. I learn new things and meet new people. I see how I want to be when I become elderly and I also see what to avoid in my life.

The current frustration in my life is weight loss. Because I am on medication that encourages weight gain, it is incredibly difficult to lose the weight. Is it possible to eat less and stay at the same weight? I have also been exercising 3-4 times per week along with the change in diet, but am not seeing any kind of real change on the scale. I just want to crawl in a hole. If I go off the med I will be miserable, but if I stay on the med I will probably continue to gain weight (or at least be unable to lose it). What is the solution?! The whole situation just makes me want to scream! I have contacted my doctor, but truthfully am not very hopeful for an answer to my problem.

God has faithfully provided several opportunites for work. Nothing has worked out exactly as I planned or thought it would, but I am being able to spend time with my family as well as do some odd jobs to earn a bit of money.

God has even provided a friend with whom I have been able to occasionally spend time! I did not expect this added blessing. Tomorrow we are going thrift-shopping. :) This has to be one of my favorite past-times. We now have three (at last count) thrift stores in town plus a nice little consignment shop. Pretty good for a small town, huh?

Sleep is beginning to call my name. I guess this note will be posted tomorrow because my internet access has ceased for the time being. Good night (or rather good morning), everyone!

Change just never quits coming

2010-05-28T17:47:00.003-04:00

It seems like ever since I started this blog my life has been one great roller-coaster of happiness and pain. True - that is generally what life is - pain and sorrow all wrapped up together. And this is not necessarily a bad thing, either. That's just the way God allows life to be.

When I originally started blogging I had just broken up with my first boyfriend. I was in the "Be still and know" stage of my life. Trying to piece things together and seek God first. Since then I have dated again, been broken up with, quit school, started a good (but stressful) job, and quit that as well.

In between all that I traveled with a school music group, attended the funeral of my much-loved Grandpa, and spent my first Christmas away from my family. Now, once again, change is in the air.

I have moved home for the summer...

Being so far away from family is difficult. I am slowly learning that all the friends and fun activities in the world don't fill the hole in my heart that family does. After Grandpa died last summer, I realized that just because I had a good job and fun times didn't mean I had a full life.

And this is the other thing I learned - while a job is a necessary thing, there is no reason to dread work every day. One should do his/her best to find a position that fits them. My position didn't. I was stressed and tired and worried all the time. I realized I would prefer a job with poorer benefits than have a job that haunted me at night.

Saying all this does not mean that I will live at home with my parents for the rest of my life. No, not at all. I am going back to school to finish my teaching degree. I am not sure that I really want to teach, but I see the degree as a means to an end. Much can be done with an education degree, especially one in Secondary English/Lit! I may pursue counseling, youth work, working with books/writing. I don't know for sure where I am going, but at least I know (kinda) which path I am taking. :)

So I will be attending another Christian college this fall to attain that degree. As far as the summer goes, I am not sure what I am doing. I have a cleaning job, some fill-in work at the eye dr's office, and a few other odd jobs. I will be (hopefully) spending some quality time with my Grandma, and am hoping and praying that I can make it to Pennsylvania to be in the wedding of one of my dear friends. I am also hoping and praying that I can pick up one or two more odd jobs (cleaning, yard work, etc) just to make enough money so that things not quite so tight this summer.

You can help me pray about that for sure!

All in all, I feel a little like a deer caught in the headlights. What should I do? Which way should I go? And how on earth am I going to get there?! I am not sure, but I do know that God is walking with me. I have peace that I am in His will for the moment and I know He will continue to lead me.

The Turtle Quest: A Happy Ending

2010-05-23T16:15:00.003-04:00

My turtle quest was paused for several days as I prepared to leave for home, but on the fourth and last evening that we went out, my heart was not very hopeful.

Kyle, Jonny, Courtney, and I went out much later at night than the other times. It was probably 11:30 pm. We decided that we should walk south as we had seen multiple turtle nests in this direction and someone had reported seeing a turtle on this end of the beach the night before.

We walked south for quite a distance. I was rather quiet as I was realizing that this would be the last time for a very long time (if not forever) that I would walk on the beautiful FL beach. Yes, I want to go back and visit, but often what we want and what actually happens are very different things. I guess we shall see.

After walking for a long time, I was pretty discouraged and tired. I decided to turn around and head back. The others stayed behind, so I stopped a little way up the beach and stood there praying and thinking. As I was looking out on the water I saw a somewhat mysterious black "bump" out in the water. Now on this beach there are no rocks in the water, so I didn't know if this was just my imagination or was *holding breath* perhaps a turtle. Courtney came up behind me and she saw the black spot shortly after I did. We both exclaimed to each other and kept watching. The bump was slowly moving in to land. We excitedly called the guys. It was a turtle! The giant sea creature was landing not too far up the beach from us.

Taking a seat in the sand we prepared for the long process of waiting and watching. It is no exaggeration to use the comparison "as slow as a turtle." This animal truly moved more slowly than I have seen anything else move (think annoyingly slow rush hour traffic "will I ever get where I am going?").

The creature gradually climbed the slight slope up the beach. It made grunting/groaning sounds on its toilsome way. When it finally began building the nest, long flippers flung sand far and wide.
Though we finally got tired of watching and left (we had been there for over a half an hour), it was such an exciting thing to be able to watch!

We headed back up the beach to the beach parking. It had been such a cool experience to see that turtle! As we walked back, we saw a similar imprint to what the turtle had left headed up the beach slope. Turtle tracks are difficult to explain - kinda like four-wheeler tire tracks or the track of a giant tractor tire. Following that trail (very carefully and quietly) we found a much smaller turtle already in its nest, half-buried in the sand. Once again we had seen what I thought I may never see!

All in all, I felt totally awed that God had allowed me to appreciate the sometimes "secret life" of nature that so many are never able to see. Jess and I had both been praying that I would see the turtles before I left Florida. And I did!

I never realized how much God cares about the littlest and silliest desires of our hearts. It would have been so simple for us to walk north instead of south. It would have been natural for me to stay with the group instead of walking back a little way on my own. And was it a coincidence that I stopped walking just a short distance from where this turtle was coming ashore? I don't think so! In fact I am quite sure that God put me and that turtle in the same place at the same time. It seems odd that God would care so much about this and I am sure that some would argue that it was just a coincidence, but I know that the opposite is true.

What are you asking God for? What do you feel is too small to request before the throne of grace? Think again - God cares about the sparrows and He cares about Stephanie seeing not one, but two sea turtles the last night that I was still in Florida. I am utterly convinced that we need not feel guilty for asking God for the desires of our hearts - big or small. Are you asking God for a family, a Godly spouse, a fulfilling job, even for something small and petty - a sunny day for your hike? God may not always say yes, but He always wants to hear from you. And I am starting to believe that He loves to delight His children with answers to their prayers - even something as simple as seeing a sea turtle.

I laughed earlier when I called the adventure a quest. To me a quest is something big and important - even life changing. Looking for turtles could hardly be called any of the above. Now I laugh because God has a way of changing the smallest and simplest things into something big and life changing. God taught me a great lesson in a few short hours one Saturday night...

When our wills are in alignment with His our Heavenly Father longs to delight our hearts with the things we desire.

And so this ends "The Turtle Quest".

The Turtle Quest: Night Two

2010-05-05T14:40:00.002-04:00

Last night we headed for the beach at approximately 9:30pm. We had considered skipping the search for the evening after some discouraging comments from others, but decided to continue with our quest if only for the excellent exercise.

Once again we walked and walked. And once again, other than a rather close encounter with a crab, we saw no signs of animal life on the beach. Thankfully this time I did remember my flashlight (not to shine on the turtles - this is illegal - as is flash photography which really puts a damper on any picture taking). The flashlight was used to find out what the scurrying sound was...the crab and to discover other random items on the beach.

I did see a shooting star. That was neat. Seeing a shooting star on the beach doesn't happen very often for me, so I enjoyed that.

I have been told that looking for sea turtles is illegal. After searching the inter net, I cannot see that it is. It is illegal to "disturb" or "molest" sea turtles in any way since they are an endangered species, but I cannot see that walking on the beach and keeping an eye out for the creatures could be fined in and of itself. If anyone reads this and knows anything about this, please feel free to comment. I am curious now!

The Turtle Quest: Night One

2010-05-04T10:17:00.004-04:00

Jess, Court, and I set off to the beach around 9 pm. Fortunately they were kind enough to join me on my adventure. This really isn't something I would want to do on my own seeing as how it is dark at night, the beach is a lonely place, and I would be...alone.

We parked at the public beach - there was one other vehicle there. None of us in the group generally hang out at the beach after dark without a guy or two along in the group, so we did our best to be very aware of our surroundings. We headed north and gradually our eyes adjusted to the darkness. None of us had thought far enough ahead to bring a flashlight so we walked along in the dark occassionally pulling out our cellphones to use their cheery glowy to see something.

After walking for a couple minutes, we walked past a long white thing. Court and Jess cautiously walked up to it to find out what it was. Yes, I (being the brave person that I am), hung back proclaiming that it was probably a snake. :) It was a log.

We walked and walked and walked. Finally, after Jess questioned how safe it really is for three girls to walk long distances on the beach at night, we turned around. No turtle sightings yet.

In case you have never done it, walking in the sand is good exercise. It also makes one tired. We 'parked' in the sand for a while, hoping against hope that a turtle would just walk up on the beach near us...it didn't happen.

The most exciting thing that did happen was seeing a couple walking up the beach. Yup, that was very exciting. Oh yeah - I fell off a small sand cliff. That was fun too.

I know you may not want to read these dissertations every day, but it is what you are going to get. For I am on a quest: The Turtle Quest.

Stay tuned for the adventures of Jess, Court and Steph in The Turtle Quest: Night Two! (Maybe we will get others to join us on our thrilling jaunts to the beach.)

The Turtle Quest: Introduction

2010-05-04T10:12:00.004-04:00

After recently bemoaning the fact that I live a mile from the beach in South Florida and have never seen a sea turtle, two of my friends suggested that I make it my quest. So, with less than two weeks before I move away from FL, the quest has begun. The quest involves going to the beach after dark each evening for the next 12 days in hopes of seeing one of the giant and slow-moving creatures. They come ashore during this season to create a nest and then lay their eggs. Many others have witnessed this phenomenon, and it is now my hope that my persistence in this matter will pay off.

It is kinda sad that the first night I thought about going to the beach I decided not to. Because it was that night that friends took pictures of a turtle headed back out to see. I missed it. So here goes the adventure that I dearly hope will pay off. :)

Sometimes I wonder

2010-04-30T15:14:00.004-04:00

I'm sitting on the porch overlooking a fountain and enjoying the breeze. Its a beautiful day. But I still wonder....

Is there an answer (this side of Heaven) for all the questions that torment my mind? It seems that every time I think I have something figured out, another question of even greater significance comes to the forefront of my life. So I sit and wonder...

When asking a friend how to deal with something for which I have no answer, I was given these verses: Romans 8:26-27:

²⁶Likewise the Spirit also helpeth our infirmities: for we know not what we should pray for as we ought: but the Spirit itself maketh intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered.

²⁷And he that searcheth the hearts knoweth what is the mind of the Spirit, because he maketh intercession for the saints according to the will of God.

So - in the end all we need to know is that we have a caring Heavenly Father. He is calling each one of us to seek Him in the dark times of our lives. He says that if we seek Him all our heart He will be found. His compassion is from everlasting to everlasting. He truly does know the path that we should take. I believe His desire for each one of us is to come forth as gold.

WPTV reporter Bryan Garner blogs from Haiti

2010-01-25T16:17:00.001-05:00

WPTV reporter Bryan Garner blogs from Haiti

Posted using ShareThis

FYI

2010-01-12T19:19:00.001-05:00

For anyone looking on: I was having trouble for some reason moderating and publishing my comments received regarding my posts. So if yours got deleted for some reason, it was not an intentional affront to you. :)

Thanks for the comments and support.

More than a bit confused

2010-01-11T20:09:00.004-05:00

So many questions regarding my future. I feel at a loss to know where to go, what to do, how to afford the things that I think I should do. Quite frankly, I feel lost. God has given me various interests and desires throughout my entire life. Basically I have gone back and forth between wanting to work in the medical field, being interested in the mission field, a desire to counsel those that are psychologically challenged, wanting to write/edit/publish, and most of all - the desire to be a wife and mother.

For many years I felt that I wanted to do something more than be a mother. I somehow felt that there were more important things to do than "just" be a stay-at-home mom. Somehow that wasn't good enough. Over the years, God slowly changed my heart. Going from "I need a career to be satisfied" to "How can I be satisfied without having a home and family of my own" has definitely been a work of God in my life.

Obviously, with this change I have started to wonder what exactly God has in store for me. I am currently very single. Why has God changed my heart so much to leave me in this place? I need to get some kind of permanent career going, but I am rather more than a little uninterested in being a lifelong career woman.

I have a great job and I work with great people. Somehow, though, I know that I will never be happy working in an office without reaching out to people for the next 10-15 years. What on earth does God want me to do?

As I toss all these things around in my mind, I know I am worrying too much - why do I have to figure all this out today? I know it isn't necessary, nonetheless the pressure is still there. So many people tell a girl to plan ahead. Dream. Think about the future. Finish school while you are young.

So - what to do? And how to do it?

"God, where am I supposed to be going?"

Home at last!

2010-01-08T01:07:00.002-05:00

So glad to be home with my family. After spending my first Christmas away from home and family, it is such a wonderful thing to be able to come home and spend some time with my parents and brother.

The views are breath-taking as usual, and its cold! Funny, though, it was as cold when I left Florida as it was when I flew into Boise last night. It was actually so cold in FL the last coupla nights that I purchased an electric blanket. Yup, I've been freezin'!

I've already been thrift-storing today and found a couple lovely deals. Also went out to eat with an old friend and my mom at The Pancake House ( http://www.mccallpancakehouse.com ). This place has some of the largest cinnamon rolls and pancakes that you will ever see. Good food and a cool ambiance.

Believe it or not, even though I slept nearly 12 hours last night, I am tired again. Guess I was ready for a break.

Time flies

2009-12-19T15:41:00.003-05:00

I think I must have forgotten that I actually have a blog!! Of course, not having Internet kinda makes it difficult to frequently post.

I have been busy. Settling into the routine of a new job can take a while. I kinda find it hard to believe that I have the job now that I prayed so long and hard over. Worrying never takes care of anything, that I am learning the hard way.

I am uploading some pictures of my house here for Mom...the rest of you can just ignore this part if you want to do so.

This is the pretty entertainment center that came with the house. The kitchen table is my $25 steal from our thrift store. It certainly isn't in perfect condition, but I know for a fact I never could have found a better deal on a table with four chairs. If you look carefully you will see my homemade center piece. The hand knit stockings on the wall are a gift from Jessica's (my room-mate) mom.

I will try to put more pictures up another time since I just discovered today that I can "borrow" my neighbor's unsecured Internet... (Is that terrible?!)

Better go. Getting ready to go see some South-Florida snow. www.cityplace.com

We are also gonna eat at Panera Bread - one of my favorites! And since it is actually 'cold' outside (I don't think it ever went above 70 today), I will enjoy some soup. :)

A lot can happen

2009-07-29T21:28:00.002-04:00

when you aren't expecting it.

Grandpa passed away. I flew home for a week.

I am lonely and sad tonight. Don't ask me why. I am in a hotel room full of people. I just want to go home...

I...need change. In a week and a half I will be home.

Yes! I guess I should go eat my pizza. :)

Tired

2009-07-11T01:18:00.004-04:00

but we are at the halfway mark (or actually past it)!

God does answer prayer. Grandpa is home from the hospital, I have a job interview when I get back from this summer, and the long-lasting laryngitis is lengthening its leave of absence.

I have no wise or wonderful thoughts to share tonight. I think alliteration is actually all that my addled brain will allow to be announced in this blog post. It seems that I have become newly obsessed with expressing myself through this rather odd form of language.

I am going to say goodnight before I say something so strange that I regret it.

In PA

2009-07-08T11:08:00.003-04:00

We have been in PA since last Friday, and we will not leave until this Saturday. Next week we will head as far north as MI before heading back in this direction.

Sometimes I feel like as soon as I start learning my lessons about trust, God starts testing me on what I just learned. With Grandpa in the hospital, wondering about a job this fall, and many other problems on my mind sometimes I feel like just giving up.

But I won't. I will continue to press on. Eventually, whether it is in Heaven or here on earth, I will see the plans that God has for my life. And the peace that I have now will be even deeper and richer. God is good. (For an encouraging song to listen to, look up "Even in the Valley" by the Whisnants. My group is singing this song, and this one never fails to encourage me. I hope you are encouraged as well!)

Back in the blog world

2009-07-06T14:52:00.000-04:00

So much has changed. Where do I start?

I closed my blog earlier because I felt like I had nothing to say. Life was moving along, and I had no idea where I was going. And because I know how much it frustrates me to visit blogs that are never updated, I closed mine.

Now...well, I still do not know exactly where I am headed. As I said, a lot has changed. I am no longer dating (not by my choice). I am no longer studying to be a teacher. I am finished with school for the time being. I am moving to Florida. But...I have peace. I am moving in with one of my good friends. I am looking for an office job. And I have decided that whether I am single or married, I can have a happy fulfilled life.

I am planning to develop some interests - refinishing wood frames and small furniture, learning more about cooking and baking, changing my eating style in general...healthful substitutions, etc., finishing my English degree online, and I am sure many other things that I cannot remember right now.

I am slowly learning that God is truly in control. I thought I understood this, but after my breakup everything I felt like I knew about my relationship with God was held in question. I am slowly getting back to the place where I take everything to God. I became kind of self-sufficient as far as my problems went. I would either talk to my parents or else just muddle through it. Recently I have found peace knowing that I can talk to God about everything. He cares when I am frustrated or when I am happy.

Since I am traveling this summer with the Hobe Sound's Girls Trio, God has used the songs that we sing to speak to me. Hearing the same thing over and over again has begun to cement the messages of the songs in my mind.

God is always good.
He doesn't change even though my circumstances do.
He will keep me if I keep my life consecrated to Him.
Joy does not come from circumstances.
My primary goal in life is to live in such a way that I can bless others and eventually see
my Savior face to face.
Everything about my life should bring honor and glory to God.

These are just a few of the lessons I am learning. Notice that I say I am learning. These truths are not perfected in me to say the least. It seems like God is telling me the same thing over and over. I have had a hard time learning these lessons, I guess.

The verse that I am claiming for this season of my life? "My God shall supply all your needs according to His riches in glory." He alone knows the way that I should take, and I do trust Him to bring me forth as gold. He knows what I truly need, and I know that my Heavenly Father will bring me what is best for me in His time.

For those of you reading this? Thanks for being there for me through this time. And thank you for coming back to pick up where I left off!