So many questions regarding my future. I feel at a loss to know where to go, what to do, how to afford the things that I think I should do. Quite frankly, I feel lost. God has given me various interests and desires throughout my entire life. Basically I have gone back and forth between wanting to work in the medical field, being interested in the mission field, a desire to counsel those that are psychologically challenged, wanting to write/edit/publish, and most of all - the desire to be a wife and mother.
For many years I felt that I wanted to do something more than be a mother. I somehow felt that there were more important things to do than "just" be a stay-at-home mom. Somehow that wasn't good enough. Over the years, God slowly changed my heart. Going from "I need a career to be satisfied" to "How can I be satisfied without having a home and family of my own" has definitely been a work of God in my life.
Obviously, with this change I have started to wonder what exactly God has in store for me. I am currently very single. Why has God changed my heart so much to leave me in this place? I need to get some kind of permanent career going, but I am rather more than a little uninterested in being a lifelong career woman.
I have a great job and I work with great people. Somehow, though, I know that I will never be happy working in an office without reaching out to people for the next 10-15 years. What on earth does God want me to do?
As I toss all these things around in my mind, I know I am worrying too much - why do I have to figure all this out today? I know it isn't necessary, nonetheless the pressure is still there. So many people tell a girl to plan ahead. Dream. Think about the future. Finish school while you are young.
So - what to do? And how to do it?
"God, where am I supposed to be going?"
Oh, Steph, I can so relate with how you are feeling!I remember feeling the very same way & all I can say is to just keep seeking His will. For me, it seemed that I had to get to the point where it didn't really matter anymore. I had to be "at peace" with that scary point in my life & trust that God would show me in His time. Praying for you & hoping that He will give you some direction very soon!
ReplyDeleteI guess we each go through our times of waiting. And each of us wonders "why???" But God did promise to fulfill the desires of our heart, after all He placed those desires there to begin with. (That's a promise I'm holding to as well - with a death grip!)
ReplyDeleteHugs!!
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ReplyDeleteYou know that I will be here with all my support! Love you!
ReplyDeleteYou remind me of myself when I was your age. I think I felt the same way. But God, in His perfect timing, brought the perfect man into my life and I didn't have to be the career woman I thought I was going to have to be. God WILL bring you satisfaction and fulfillment, and His ways are perfect. Just keep trusting and RESTING in Him, and walk through the open doors He sends, but don't try to knock down any walls. Don't try to figure everything out now; take one day at a time with your hand firmly in is. I'm praying for you!
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